Love Yourself to Attract Love

Guest Post: Iviana Bynum of

Many of us ask ourselves why we can’t be in a good relationship.  Well, one of the roots to having a good relationship is loving yourself.  How can you enjoy life otherwise?  When we don’t have self-love, it is usually difficult for us to show love to others and be in the relationships we truly need.give_yourself_a_hug-277x300

So how is it that we end up depriving ourselves of the love that we require?  It’s when we’re stuck feeling inferior, sorry for ourselves, shameful, or guilty because of past experiences.

When you don’t love yourself, it’s hard for you to notice the good individuals and opportunities around you.  You are blinded to the positives and the love that you would otherwise be able to pick up on.

I spent a good chunk of my life feeling self-pity, being drowned in insecurity, and having low self-worth.  During that time, all that I attracted were friends and boyfriends that were just like me.  It may be an obvious fact but you are the company that you keep.

With time, I began to realize the self-worth, values, and the strengths that I was born with.  In no time, those feelings reflected right through me and my circumstances began to shift.  I was no longer attracted to guys that weren’t worth my time nor did I attract them.  Also, the people who brought me down and weren’t actually good friends were no longer a part of my life.

Let’s use a little analogy such as flowers.  View yourself as a beautiful flower that is beginning as a tiny seed.  Your life can go in a good or bad direction.

Going in the bad direction, you start off getting watered and you grow and grow little by little.  However, the weeds around you don’t get pulled.  On top of that, you don’t get watered enough so you begin to shrivel up and you never bloom.

In the good direction, you get watered, the weeds around you get pulled, and you are taken care of.  Eventually, you bloom into a beautiful flower that smells good and is admired.

Now, lets link this analogy to you.  You have to pull the weeds out of your life and out of your mind.  When you start to focus on the strengths that you have within you and press forward, changes will begin.  Not only will you feel better about yourself but you will also attract love.  You have to give love to get it back.  That’s just the way it works!

Are you loving yourself or depriving yourself of the love you deserve? Do a self check-up and think about where your focus is.  You will find that if you love yourself, you will be able to love others and you just may attract a good relationship.

iviana My girls Anonymous

About Iviana: Iviana serves as mentor for women who are going through transition in relationships, life, and business. She inspires them to overcome obstacles that involved past traumas, unhealthy relationships, and more.  She is also an author, speaker, and life coach to women of all ages by helping them find new purpose.

Download her free EBook 3 Days to Overcome: Get Off Your Butt & Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself– A simple guide to overcoming sadness and overwhelm by taking charge of your circumstances and changing your perspectives.

Leave a comment


  1. This is a great resource, and a very well-written article. I wrote a blog post when I was ready for love, and it was the change in mindset written in that blog that I believe attracted my husband to me. :) I’d like to share it with you here —>

    Also today’s blog is an exclusive interview with Christina Murray from The Sisterhood Reality Show on TLC. She’s been married for 18 years and knows a thing or two about love. —>

  2. folake blaize

     /  February 23, 2013

    thanks for your write ups . I’ll very much like to know more about how i can start to love myself more.

  3. Finally, a write-up with real substance on this particular theme!
    I’m happy I found this substance. Your an excellent writer with exceptional talent
    and initial ideas. That is outstanding function.

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